Take Me Dancing

Upon my return from Bohicon on Saturday night, I called Ludvert to make sure we were still going dancing. "Do you want to go just the 2 of us, or do you want me to invite my friends." OH MY GOD INVITE YOUR FRIENDS. (I had to have a little chat with him that night about my not being interested in him, because it was getting to be too much and he really wasn't taking a hint. I made it abundantly clear, but he still kept trying - but that was much later in the night.)

He came to get me around 11pm and we went to Diana's restaurant where a few of his friends were drinking some "eau de palme" which I could compare to Canadian Eau de Vie -- really strong booze that could probably double for rubbing alcohol. They soak herbs in it for flavour. Tasted awful but certainly woke me up.

After Diana closed up her shop we went to her boyfriend's house so she could change and then we all piled into his car and drove off to a club where there was some live music.

The music was so awesome! I wished Gordon was there, cuz he really woulda gotten a kick out of it. It was Beninese music, except it was salsa! The Motherland truly is the motherland of everything. I keep forgetting that slaves were brought throughout South and North America, and Spain, Portugal... and they brought their music with them. One of Lud's friends Mathieu said that the Spanish and Portuguese made the salsa dance and music better... different perhaps? Not necessarily better!

So it was me, Diana, and 6 guys. The boys were all dancing like crazy, loving every minute of it. They certainly aren't as prudish as the boys back home, girating and moving their hips, and dancing with each other. I've never seen guys dance like that and I've seen a lot of guys (gay, straight, black, white) dance.

We left that bar around 2am and went to another place where there was supposed to be "techno". We didn't end up going inside, but instead left for another club near the airport.

There were a lot of white people there. The bar is owned by a Lebanese dude -- apparently there are a lot of Lebanese people in Benin. The music was pretty crappy (very top 40 house music with some traditional tunes thrown in for good measure -- oh! there was a remix of Aline! "Et j'ai crier, crier! ALINE! pour qu'elle revienne..."), but the company was fun.

I found the DJ booth and was happy to see that they have CDJs. I'll try to go again this weekend, perhaps even alone, to see if I can talk to a manager or the owner. I don't necessarily want to spin when they're open, I just want to be able to use their CDJs to get some practice in and hear some good beats every once in a while. Then again, who knows. Maybe upon hearing that I'm a promoter from Toronto, they might be interested in some business. Guess it depends on whether or not they know anything about the scene.

This is where the night went sideways, and annoyingly so, but awesome in another way. We all piled back into José's car (Diana's boyfriend) and they were all speaking Fon and I was just staring out the window so I missed the actual conversation. I *think* José offered to drive me straight home, since the club is just on the other side of the airport and pretty close to my house, but instead Lud insisted that they go get his motorbike at José's on the other side of town, have his friend Zee drive the motorbike back to Lud's house (they live next door to each other) which is just outside of the city and then Lud would drive me home on his motorbike.

Of course no one told me what the f#*k was going on and only said that we had to make "a stop". We sat waiting at José's when Lud explained that they could've driven me home but didn't and that we had to go somewhere else before I went home. Already, not impressed.

When we got to Lud's house I had to get angry because I didn't understand what was happening and suddenly José was driving off, leaving me in some far off place with a boy I didn't want to have to spend any more time with.

I had to be stern and express my anger, "mais QU'EST-CE QUI SE PASSE? On est OÙ?" Which is when I realized that Lud had gone to great lengths to be able to show me his house and then drive me back to my house when I could already have been in bed. I scolded him and his friend - "you have to WARN a girl before you take her to some strange place outside of town." Neither of them had thought of it, and Zee agreed with me. Lud was probably upset that I wasn't happy to be at his house.

By now it was 5:30am and I was mad. I was tired and confused and felt like I was being taken advantage of because I didn't speak their language.

Not only that, but he was about to abandon me to sit in his waiting room/living room while he went on his motorbike to drop off his friend Zee next door (next door is around the block and down the street... we were kind of in the country or a suburb).

So he let me inside the house and introduced me to his brother, although you never really know if "brother" means "brother" here, or if it means cousin or best friend.

I felt really out of place, but his brother was really good looking in a 17 year-old kind of way, and he didn't sit with me and force me to have a conversation with him, so that was good.

I asked for a glass of water, and then realized they probably just gave me tap water, so I just had a couple sips and put the glass down - I didn't want to get sick.

Lud came back and said he had to change because he had to go to the sports arena to play some soccer at 7am. All I wanted to do was go home and go to bed, and again he was being annoyingly lovey towards me, despite our "conversation" where I blatantly told him I was not at all interested in anything.

He invited me into his room to chat with him while he got ready, and I politely declined, saying it was too hot to be indoors and that I would wait in the courtyard to get some air.

I wish words could adequately describe the beauty and awesomeness of the scene I witnessed when I walked into the courtyard... let me try to paint the picture:

It's 5:45am and still really dark outside. The whole first floor is one big open concrete room with concrete floors, part of it covered like a garage, with the rest of the house on top of it, and the rest of the yard has no roof but is completely fenced in with tall grey concrete walls. In the middle of the open-air section is a well made of stones and concrete and beside the well is a large metal basin that they carry water in - I've seen many women put those basins on their heads to walk from the well to their houses.

In the garage there are a couple large wooden tables and 10-15 wooden chairs, and it reminds me a lot of my grandpa's mechanic garage. There are a few blackboards with writing on the walls, but I didn't have the time and felt too out-of-place to do any inspecting of what they were. There are short but long wooden shelving units along the walls with a lot of jars in them. The whole place is lite with bright orangey fluorescent lights, so I can't see the stars from the courtyard.

I went to leave Lud's room when I saw that someone was in the courtyard, standing at the well and it wasn't his 17 year-old brother. Not wanting to meet ANOTHER one of his family members, especially not at 6am when I haven't slept, I stood back. It was so quiet, all I could hear was the sound of the pulley at the well and when I looked, I saw a youngish fit shirtless black man in an ankle-length green sarong with one leg braced against the well, pulling hard on the rope to get the water up, using every single muscle in his back, shoulders and arms. Then, from the yard next door, a rooster crowed. And again. And again.

Good morning Maria, you're in Africa.
Holy shit, I'm in Africa.

I immediately ran back into the waiting room so I could write down a note. I didn't want to forget the moment, it was so surreal and beautiful.

Finally Lud came out of his room proclaiming that he couldn't find the tuque he wears to drive his motorcycle. Did I steal it? Or put it somewhere? Oh Maria, what did you do with it? Haha.

I could have punched him, and I'm sure I didn't look impressed. Stop with the excuses. "Just take me home, I'm exhausted." And then on the motorbike... Are you holding on tight? Are you sure? -- I am NOT holding on to you. I'm fine!

The road from his house back to the highway was a dirt road and again made me freak - I'm in Africa. Quite a few people were making their way to church - it was 6am, time to pray. The scenery near his house was beautiful, and I thanked life for having an upside to this annoying situation.

I was pretty nervous at him driving down this sandy road on a motorcycle, but he said, "N'ait pas peur, je suis désert" (don't be afraid, I am desert). The boy does have a way with words.

It's pretty fun to drive around on a motorcycle - fun to be a passenger since I can look around in awe at the scenery. If/when I decide to get my own bike I'll have to keep my eyes on the road and it probably will feel more terrifying than fun (at first)!

I was still afraid though. Obviously he was still trying to convince me of how cool he was and I was sure he would try to impress me with his driving skills.

When he proclaimed that he could make the motorcycle fly, I put my foot down and asked him to cool it. He could show me how fast his motorcycle can go another day, when I've had some sleep (ie: NEVER). Still, a little while later I had to ask him to slow down, which seemed to frustrate him since he thought I was perfectly safe.

When we got to my street he said it was my turn to drive, which would have been super fun at any other time and with any other person. But I realized that finally I'd be in the driver's seat, literally, and was excited to get my ass home. Of course now it meant he got to sit behind me and "help me drive" which made the experience even more uncomfortable. He wasn't a very good teacher and I was a very impatient student, but luckily we were only a minute away from my house.

I gave it too much gas and had trouble gearing up (like I said, he wasn't a very good teacher - "press down on that pedal" isn't an instruction I can follow. WHICH pedal? That pedal. WHICH??! grrr!!!!) but we made it without my stalling it. Except then I didn't know where the break was and tried to stop it like a bike by putting my feet on the ground - which doesn't really work for a motorcycle!! Handbreak Maria! Handbreak!

Well, the next day we went out again because he was going to bring me to a store where I could buy a USB internet key for my laptop and then we were going to go to the beach, except the store was closed, "oh I guess they close at noon on Sundays," he said knowingly. Again, I was NOT impressed - and then he parked his bike infront of his cousin's place without telling me where we were going or who I was about to meet, which pissed me off.

This guy wasn't winning any brownie points with me.

Finally some of his friends showed up and we all headed for the beach. He was getting more and more possessive as he could see how disinterested and angry I was getting with him, at which point I really had to have another conversation with him and then he kept getting progressively more upset with me, which has led me to understand that we can't be friends.

I also had the same conversation with Roger, who also persisted and asked if he could come home with me!!! WTF!! no!

Maybe I'll get a new SIM card and change my phone number. Isn't that horrible? I'm so mean!! (But it really is the perfect/easiest solution to my boy troubles!)

Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Lud has taught me that even though someone can give you everything you want, doesn't mean you have to take them up on it.

You can't always take the first offer that comes your way, no matter how good it is. Sometimes the strings attached will choke you!