Wedding Bells

Preparations are in full swing here in Benin. We made an appointment at the Mairie du 12e arrondissement where the Chef de Circonscription, Mr. Brice Chanhoun, will perform the ceremony on Saturday, June 6th, at 1600 hours. His secretaries’ eyes got bigger when they saw that it would be a white-lady wedding. I have to say I’m getting really tired of people thinking I’m rich. Every time anyone gives me the price for anything I have to wonder whether it’s the actual price or whether they’ve doubled it because of the colour of my skin. Should I be flattered or insulted? Regardless of what I “should” be, I’m annoyed.

I met a lady at the Novotel pool on Monday. My new friend and colleague, Bernadette, took me for a “bachelorette” day. We went to the spa, to the market to buy shoes, and then the following day was spent lounging by the Novotel pool, drinking fruity drinks and getting a nice tan.

So this lady in the pool comes up to us and asks where we’re from. “Canada,” we answered. “Well duh,” she said, “Where in Canada?”

Toronto.
“Really? Me too!”
What brings you to Benin?
“Oh I just got married on Saturday!”
I’m getting married on Saturday!
(Congratulations are exchanged. She points to her husband who is lounging by the pool, filling out papers.)
“We tried getting him a travel visa, and they rejected him, so in February, he called me in Toronto to ask me if I would marry him, and I agreed. My friends and family wondered whether I was crazy and whether I could really trust this guy… but I brought my son with me on this trip, and when he met my husband he said, ‘Mom, he’s everything you said he would be.’ We’re going to do another wedding in Canada with everyone.”

I laughed. My story to a T, with a few subtle differences – this lady could be my mom, she met her Beninese man in London, England, and they’ve been ‘seeing each other’ for the last 2 and a half years. The fact that this fairly well-travelled and well-off man’s travel visa was denied put me at ease. It’s not just Mathieu, it’s everyone who has a hard time.

The fact that she was a week ahead of me in this whole process has been helpful. I’ve stayed in contact with them to be able to find out more about the immigration process, which is also quite annoying. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork…
I want to get all the forms filled out and sent as soon as humanly possible. The faster we send them, the sooner we’ll get a response, the sooner Mathieu can come to Canada. This time the paperwork will be ridiculously complete. They want details? They’ll get an encyclopedia of them. They want to know how our relationship has evolved since we met? I am able, thanks to my journaling, emails, pictures, and record of txt messages sent, I can basically give them a play by play.

I’m a woman on a mission.

First things first however, we need a marriage certificate. Outfits are pressed and pretty, cake has been ordered, food is being prepared, we’re good for music, Maman’s house has a fresh coat of paint, my work colleagues are all pumped and have their speeches prepared (people LOVE to make speeches here – they LOVE it)… OH! And fear not: the photographer has been hired and there will also be a DVD made. As much physical evidence as possible that Mathieu and I are married and that this is for real.

Getting nice emails from friends and family has been delightful – keep them coming, more proof! More proof!! Sigh… oh Immigration Canada…

Tonight, Bernadette and I are hanging out and Mathieu is spending the night at his Maman’s house. This will be the first night we’ve spent apart since… February 17. When we were counting days and figuring stuff out, I realized that we will be getting married only 4 months after meeting one another.

I can hear you all saying, “Maria, are you just realizing this now?”

I really feel like I’ve been with Mathieu for years. It feels like I’ve been in Benin for years. Have I really only been here less than 5 months?

Bernadette and I submitted a proposal and a report to have our “Consultancy period extended”. Makes me sound so important. The request was accepted and with a bigger budget, so the next month should be better on my bank account. I can’t wait to get back to work to have an actual income, but at the same time, I wish Mathieu was coming with me.

First we have to send our immigration package to Mississauga, who will take a look at it and if they believe us and if everything is properly filled out, they’ll send it to the Canadian Embassy in Abidjan, Côte d’Ivoire. Those lovely people will have another look at it, and if they believe us or if they don’t, they’ll either call Mathieu in for an interview, or just send a letter of rejection or acceptance.

Thoughts and prayers are welcome. Wish you were here… The next time you see me, I’ll be a MRS.

WEIRD!!!